Day 5

It's dad... attempting to write tonight. My heart is heavy as I think of Sumana laying in her bed hour after long hour. Today I took Sumana's sister (Gretchen) and brother (Andrew) to see her at the hospital. They let me know that it was a little eye opening to see her so helpless and confined to the bed. Sumana was so glad to hear their voices and responded to them best she could with eyes slightly open and a nod for 'yes' or 'no'. There was a little more discomfort apparent on her face as she worked through the afternoon. As you can see she is hooked up to all kinds of tubes including the new feeding tube that is going into her nose. What you are seeing on her face around her mouth is the tape to hold the ventilator in place. I thought a picture of her in her current state would help us all pray for her. I am so thankful for all the doctors and nurses and their care for Sumana. She is being WELL taken care of.
Thank you for all your prayers. Continue to pray for Cheryl and that she will be able to get enough rest. I believe she said she would be sleeping on an air mattress tonight. She has been so thankful for the Ronald McDonald House as she has already mentioned.
I guess we were hoping for a best case situation thinking that Sumana would be in the hospital for 6 or 7 days. I think at this point we just keep praying that she makes progress each day and apart from that... we'll see.

More rest time required

Unbelievable! At this point, Sumana is going to stay on the ventilator til Wednesday. Her chest x-ray was better today, but the other numbers 'they' look at were not so good. There has been improvement with the ventilator taking the deeper more regular breaths for her, so they want to continue that today and see if they can get some more improvement. Thankfully, they will put in a feeding tube today and give her some Pediasure. This should make our girl happy. When she's been 'awake' she's let us know that she is hungry and thirsty. I guess the Pediasure should make her feel full and give her some nourishment.

I have just spent almost two hours typing on Sumana's in-room computer and lost everything!! So, if you're interested in a similar, yet different writing . . . check out the caringbridge site and visit 'sumana'. I'm trying to remember everything I wrote there, because I still can't figure out how to copy and paste without a word processing program. UGH!!

here's my 'Ode to the Ronald McDonald House':

We love you RMH, oh yes we do!
You give us beds for sleep and coffee, too!
We know without you, we'd stew!
oh, RM, we love you!

How silly, huh?? Well, at least know that I have written this more out of boredom, than from sleep deprivation. I have gotten lots of good night's rest and naps since we've been here. So far, no one else appears to need the room, so I'm going to take advantage of it as long as I can!

Thanks to everyone for their prayers, visits and calls. I'm holding up pretty well. I find strength each day in the Psalms. I'm praying David's prayers for Sumana and find real comfort in being able to do that. My mind is still pretty scattered, so it's nice to read a prayer and pray it back to God. Please continue to pray for Sumana's respiratory issues. Once we get past this we can really move on to her recovery.

No, it's not

Well, I jumped the gun. Sumana has a few more strikes against her than anticipated so she is NOT getting off the vent today. Her chest x-ray is noticeably worse and her blood pH is off. I guess she is retaining too much carbon dioxide. She also has a lot of secretions from her nose and mouth, as well as a considerable amount of fluid draining from her chest tube.

Though this is holding her back from recovering physically from the surgery, staying on the vent sounds like the best plan at this point. They have been allowing her to breathe as she needs/wants, but that obviously has not been working. The doctors have upped her vent so that she is breathing fairly deeply and consistently. This should really help her lungs expand and maybe get that 'junk' out before it turns 'bad' on her. Also, her sedation and pain meds are back on.

So, they're saying 'at least one more day' on the vent. That probably means I'll get another good night's sleep at the RMH upstairs. Yea! I doubt I'll get much sleep after they take the sedation away. She was VERY agitated this morning as she was starting to come out of the sedation. She kept waving her hands, mouthing 'something' and raising her eyebrows. I felt soo helpless. She really seemed to want to tell me something, but didn't know what. Thankfully, her nurse said that's a common reaction to coming out of sedation. Oh, joy, we get to go thru it again when she gets of the vent!

Tube's coming out

I think it's official, though it's only 6:30 in the morning. sumana's tube is coming out this morning. In order to extubate her they're taking her off ALL her meds. UGH! It's going to be a rough morning. Please pray that Sumana can handle the pain until she can get her meds back. They are stopping all her IV drips at 7 this morning, then once the floor doctor makes his rounds we'll know for sure if they'll take it out. Yesterday, he said even if her chest x-ray wasn't better today, he would still get her off the vent. I guess the risk for pneumonia starts going up from today on.

So, I'll try to update again as soon as I can. Even though this computer is only 30-40 feet from Sumana's room, she'll probably want me close til the pain is managed again. By the way, if I have time I want to write 'An Ode to the Ronald McDonald House.' I've been so blessed to have a room for 2 whole days! I think I'm getting 'bumped' once Sumana is extubated, but that's okay with me. That means sumana is getting better!

Sad morning

The good news is that I slept at the Ronald McDonald House last night. I slept from 9:30 til a little after 5 am. Boy did that feel great! However, when I got back to the room Sumana had been giving her a hard time suctioning her out. That stinker is still so stubborn! Even when she's sedated and doped up! (Some things never change!)

Well, the sad thing this morning is that she may have to stay on the ventilator ANOTHER day! UGH!!!! Her secretions have gotten really bad. She can blow a series of bubbles out her nose that would make Andrew proud! At least with the nose, I can help suction her out. The bummer is that most of the junk is in her chest and it just rattles around there . . . I just keep praying it doesn't settle in there. The x-rays show her right lung is doing well (that's the one that was deflated in surgery). However, the left lung has quite a bit of fluid and isn't working as hard as it should (what's new, though, it's always given her a hard time).

The chest tube will also stay in for another day or two because she's still getting a lot of drainage. The good news there is that the color is changing and there isn't much blood in it any more.

I found a Bible verse from Psalms yesterday, "keep me safe, oh, God'. I've been praying that for Sumana. She's definitely not very happy. She's crying quite a bit now . . . only tears because of the vent . . . but it's sooooo sad. And, soooo quiet. For such a motor mouth, it's rough NOT to hear her talking. (The silence wasn't too hard to take the first day, but I'm over that now! I want to hear my little girl talk and laugh again!)

Thanks for your prayers. I'll try to post again as soon as I can. There is no word processing capabilites on the computer I'm using, so Greig is having to copy and pasted this info to caringbridge. Sorry for the delay on that end.

A Hard Night

Well... here we are just past the 24 hr point after the operation... I'm sitting in her room and for the moment she is resting well. There was a lot of discomfort and sleeplessness last night for both Sumana and her mom. Right now Cheryl is getting some much needed rest in the Ronald McDonald House as she might have gotten a half hour sleep total last night. In Sumana's restlessness she was trying to pull the tube for the respirator out of her mouth so they had to put restraints and weights on her arms. Although this sounds harsh... it is a great thing because for the most part Sumana is resting in a sedated state and the respirator can continue to do it's job of helping to get the fluid out of her lung. The lung that was deflated during surgery is doing really well but the other lung (that Sumana has developed pneumonia before in) has fluid in it. Because of this they decided to keep the respirator on her at least until tomorrow. The original plan was to possibly take it off today but that is not going to happen. Dr. Voter (the Pulmonologist) just stopped by to listen to her lungs and she said they sound good and seemed to be encouraged and is doing as well as could be expected at this point.
I'm not nearly as good at explaining things that are going on as Cheryl, but I thought I would try to give at least some kind of update. Please keep praying... we covet your prayers especially now at the critical time.

We made it through!

Well, it's about 5:30pm and Sumana seems to be resting fairly comfortably. We arrived shortly after 7am and she went back to surgery around 8:45. By 3pm she was in the PICU (but we didn't find out for almost an HOUR!). We were told for 3 HOURS that they were 'closing her up'. Now even I questioned that there was that much closing up to do!!! I guess they finished around 2:30 and had her transferred to the PICU by 3.

Anyway, the surgery was a success. The doctors feel like they got a 'good amount of correction' on her scoliosis curve. She looks soooo straight in her bed. One of her visitors today commented that she looked taller to him already! (I know she is!) The only complication had to do with her ribs. She has extra ribs, fused ribs and malformed ribs. The surgeon had to make a patch (!!) to help keep her lung away from the VEPTR rod. It doesn't sound like it was much of a concern. She did NOT need a transfusion and her lung came right back into full use right after surgery. The only concern right now is her blood volume and respiratory-type issues. She will be sedated and on the ventilator overnight and if her x-rays and bloodwork look good tomorrow, they'll start to wean her off the vent.

She has woken up several times this afternoon to stretch and try to pull out the ventilator tube. Please pray that she'll be able to keep from doing that. If not, they'll have to restrain her (oh, no!) She has nodded 'yes' and 'no' to many questions. Particularly disturbing was when she nodded 'yes' that she was in pain and 'yes' that it hurt on her side. Poor, baby! They just 'upped' her pain med, so she is 'out of it' again.

Thanks for you prayers. God has proven faithful yet again. It is amazing to see how He has used the doctors and medical devices to work so mightily in our little girl. The next 24 hours are especially critical, but she's off to a good start. We'll keep you updated as we know more.

7 am

We need to be a Strong at 7 am. The surgery is slated to start at 8:30. Sumana is happy that she doesn't have to wait around all morning and get hungry. I'm glad she's first of the day, too. No waiting around. Just get up and go and get her into surgery. THAT waiting will be long enough! We treasure your prayers for us all as we head into tomorrow. I am sooo much more at peace today. God has been faithful in the past and He will be faithful tomorrow.

The 'Before' Pictures

Well, Sumana said it was okay to post these pictures, so I didn't ask twice! Here's what her back looks like now. You can see her May scars at the lower end of her back and the scar between her shoulder blades is from the spina bifida surgery that was done when she was 3 days old. Her scoliosis curve is about 51 degrees, a lot of kids are MUCH worse . .. around 80 degree curves. I'm really hopeful that her curve will get down to 30 degrees (or less, dare I hope???)

Thank you soooo much for your prayers. The cheerleader in me is taking over and I just keep reminding Sumana about how things went in May. Though this is a much longer and more serious surgery, she still will see the PICU (pediatric ICU) when she wakes up, she'll still have the button to call the nurse and she remembers how to use the 1-10 pain scale. We're good to go!!

A lot of you have asked if these rods will be with her for life. The answer is 'no'. These are adjustable rods designed to help her 'grow straight'. When she stops growing, they will be removed. So many kids with scoliosis seem to end up with short torsos and long legs. The VEPTR will give Sumana's torso a chance to grow. It'll be great to see it catch up with her long legs!

I'll call the hospital later this afternoon to get the surgery time. I'll post it here as soon as I know.

Surgery update

Here's the VEPTR (Vertical Expandable Prosthetic Titanium Ribs). I think this picture is pretty accurate to what Sumana's getting. It'll be 2 rods on the right side of her body. One attaching to her natural ribs (higher to lower) and one attaching from a higher rib to her spine. The surgery is Thursday, August 27. We call on Wednesday afternoon to get a start time. We'll just drive up Thursday morning (we'll try to get one last good night's sleep at home!)

Dr. Pagoli (sp?) and Dr. Sanders will do the operation in stages. Dr. P does the initial incision and deflates Sumana's lung and then covers it with some kind of sheet to protect it during surgery. Then, Dr. Sanders comes in and places the rods. When he's done, Dr. P come back and undoes everything he did at the beginning of surgery. The surgery is supposed to take about 5 hours.

She'll be on a ventilator for 1-2 days (sedated the whole time to keep her from pulling out the tube). Please pray that her lung will re-inflate and 'get back to work' with no problems AND that she'll only be on the ventilator one day, instead of two. The pain will be excruciating for the first few days (maybe weeks?) as she gets used to the rods being in her back. You can pray that the rods 'stay put' and don't migrate (this is a common problem). Also, that the incision heals and that the rod doesn't poke thru the skin (another common problem). It's yucky, I know! Once we get thru this tough part she'll be better than ever! (It's just getting thru the initial surgery and 6 week recovery).

I'll try to update again. But since I had a few minutes I wanted to let y'all know how to pray. Thanks for being there!!!

2009 MBC Baptism

Well, Sumana was one of 9 who were baptized today. Our annual church picnic was held at LeTourneau and the baptism was held in the lake. She was sooooo excited. She wanted Greig in the water with her (because Daddy was in there with Jeffrey and Andrew . . .) He's a good sport, too!! She also got to go swimming with Miss Rose and Miss Diane. Mom couldn't bring herself to go in. (I was soooo full from pigging out at the picnic; I felt like I would sink to the bottom!)

Well, Sumana is doing pretty well. I heard that she was worried about 'being starved' while she was on the ventilator. Miss Barb set her straight and told her the IV would take care of feeding her and the ventilator would take care of breathing for her . . . all to make things easier for her. (Whew . . . that was a good one!!)

Fun at the Zoo!

Well, we made it to the zoo with the Thompson family. What a fun time! When Greig came home and asked Sumana about the zoo, she told him she saw seagulls and cockroaches (???!!!!) That's not what I would have talked about. We spent a lot of time with the orangutans, elephants and baboons. I guess they just don't make an impression like a cockroach!

All over the World!

I installed a 'counter' last month to keep track of how many visits we have on Sumana's Faith and where people visit from. I'm sooo glad I set it up. It's really cool to see places like Belgium, the Netherlands, Canada and Japan represented in the mix. I can account for Canada and Japan, but Belgium and the Netherlands have me stumped! Sumana has had nearly 1000 visits since I started the counter and over 300 on her caringbridge.org site. It's funny to see her get so excited about all the visits. But, then again, you all know how much she loves attention! LOL!

Well, tomorrow we're off to the zoo to have some more summer fun. It's nice to be able to do some 'fun' stuff! Today was Sumana's last official appointment before her surgery. She got to visit Mrs. Spike and have her teeth cleaned. I should have taken pictures . . . oh, well . . . I'll try to remember for the zoo tomorrow! By the way, I hope you can all sense I'm doing better this week. I've received so much encouragement and prayers. I am much more at peace about surgery next week. Thanks for standing with us!!

Splashing and Spraying!

With the recent heat wave, I wanted to make sure Sumana got one more chance to enjoy water before her surgery. She got in the lake at camp, but that was about 'it' for the summer. Yesterday, my sister and I took our kids to the Sprayground in Geneva. It was the first time I had been there. What a riot! Waterfalls, water shooting up, water coming out of inchworm-like creatures. Everything was timed differently, so it was fun to watch the kids waiting for the water to shoot up! Check out Sumana's expression! I took a TON of pictures; but it was so hard to keep up with Sumana, most of the pictures I have are of her BACK!! :-)

Last night, Miss Diane (a friend from church), took time to teach Sumana to crochet! By the time I checked in with them, she had a chain 12 inches long! This morning, she crocheted for an HOUR! Diane has been really concerned about Sumana being 'out of commission' for so long, with not much to do. She approached us a couple of weeks ago, asking if she could teach Sumana before her surgery so she could have something new to do afterwards. What a great idea. Thanks, Miss Diane!!

Well, I'm off to help Sumana with her cough assist. We're trying to be extra faithful with her PT exercises and cough assist. Only 9 days before surgery!

She Did It!

Who'd a thought she could do it??!!! We had just picked up Sumana's new braces and were going to head out for Indian food for lunch. But, those infamous words, 'I gotta go', changed the plan. We drove 2 buildings over to the lab and announced that we needed a cup . . . NOW! (please!) I had planned to get Sumana's lab work done at the hospital before her next appointment, but the impromptu side trip turned out to be a great thing.

The lab was very quiet so 3 techs were able to help with Sumana. She told them she needed a 'holder' and she wanted them to sing 'Jesus Loves Me'. Two of the techs didn't know 'Jesus Loves Me', (one said, 'Do you mean 'Jesus take the Wheel'?) Thankfully, Rogu (sp??) a VERY African young man (in color and accent!), knew the song and he and I sang while the others poked and held Sumana. It worked sooooo well. She held it together and when it was over, she said, "Mommy, can we come here again next time??"

For those of you who missed the excitement a few months ago, Sumana has an extreme fear of needles. Any needle. She screams and fights and is just not very pleasant to be around. So, today's blood draw was like a dream! Yea!

We had a really yummy lunch at our favorite Indian restaurant. They had Sumana's favorites: idli, sambhar and naan. I tried some new things that were really good. There was Indian music playing the whole time with Indians serving as waiters and cooks. It really took us back to India.

Her pre-op appointment at Strong was rather encouraging. 1) The anesthesia team feels it's a good sign that she did well with her surgery in May. 2) Her improved lung function is another positive. 3) The lung to be deflated is her stronger lung. I'm still not at all happy about it, but at least others are feeling optimistic. 4) They marked her as having an allergy to Dilaudid, (this is the medication that made her itch like crazy). I was assured that they will find other meds to treat her pain.

Confessions everywhere

Wow. I've been thinking of what to write to you all, because I'm so uncharacteristically pessimistic this week. This morning I was looking over the blogs I follow of kids who have spina bifida. Several of them were written by moms like me who are struggling with tough choices we have to make for our kids. I found incredible strength in their confessions as they face challenging situations.

Check out : http://carlivia.blogspot.com/2009/08/late-night-confessions.html: Pam talks about struggling with her youngest daughter's health issues. Kenzie's mom is feeling helpless as her daughter struggles with post-op pain. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/kenzieochoa

http://kahri.blogspot.com (July 31st): Kahri writes about her life as like standing in the ocean, feeling battered. "There is time between each wave where I start to feel like everything is handle-able and then another wave crashes down. Because I am keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus, up above, I have kept my head out of the water. I am able to breathe. And go on. But I am tired of this constant battering. I know the Truth. I know the Way and I see the Light. It just seems a little bleary since I keep having to wipe ocean water out of my eyes. So I lift my arms once again, praise Him and pray for the tide to go out. . . or a surfboard."

I don't know if I feel "battered' at this point, but definitely bounced around a bit. Part of me wants to grab Sumana and run in the OTHER direction. Because of my crazy life, God has to speak to me in the middle of the night to get my attention. He did this last week with the mini-van decision. It happened again last night. (Psalm 16:7 - even at night your Spirit instructs me). I felt the Lord saying that He may ask even more of me thru Sumana's surgery. That was rather disturbing. It's one thing to deal with my 'own' life, another to have to watch a young child suffer.

Don't get me wrong; my faith is not shaken. But, I find myself struggling to keep focused on the fact that God has a perfect plan already laid out for our family. I struggle because I know that 'perfect plan' may not look like MY perfect plan. (In fact, I'm sure it won't). I guess I'm bracing myself for a big, crashing wave. At least our family is not alone, we have the tremendous support and prayers of friends and family AND, even more our loving Savior is standing beside us in the ocean, ready to carry us thru the next big wave. Sumana's surgery is August 27th.

Wiped out!

I am totally wiped out after a crazy 5 days. And, my wrists are worn out from painting and cleaning, so I'm not sure how long I can stand to type. We have an appraiser coming tomorrow (for a refinance). I know the cleaning shouldn't really matter, but we'd like the house to be as presentable as possible.

Anyway, the BIG news: Sumana had her pre-op appointment with Dr. Sanders today. She will receive 2 rods: one connected from rib to rib, the other from rib to spine. It will be a HUGE incision . . . 14+ inches. They WILL have to deflate her lung. She WILL be on a ventilator at least 1-2 days (and can't get up and around til AFTER it is removed). The operation will last about 5 hours, with 5-7 days spent in the hospital. I so wish I had asked Greig to come to the appointment. I thought I was well prepared, but I guess I was relying on alot of wishful thinking.

I can't tell you how upset I am about having her lung deflated. When the doctor explained where the VEPTRs were going, I could understand that an inflated lung could easily get in the way. However, with Sumana's history, I am not very optimistic about her pulmonary health post-op. Dr. Voter was very pleased with her progress in lung function, so maybe it'll be better than I anticipate. It's definitely going to be the focus of my prayers.

Thursday Sumana goes for an anesthesia pre-op appointment. I've never heard of such a thing, but I guess they will discuss the ventilator and maybe show us one. She'll also get her bloodwork done that day. I'd appreciate your prayers for that one! Maybe the same tech will be there again to sing 'Jesus Loves Me' to her!

Sumana's Faith or Mom and Dad's Faith???

Well, Sumana is always stretching her mom and dad's faith, but I feel especially stretched today (and Sumana didn't do anything!) We decided not to get the van. Though it was a hard decision, I think it is the wisest choice. Even though we got a fantastic deal and probably saved over $6-8000 off MSRP, it still would have strapped us with a pretty high monthly payment. I guess our plan is to keep driving the big, green van and looking for a USED Nissan Quest (at least we know what make and model we like!)

As an update on today's marathon of appointments: Sumana got GREAT news from her pulmonary doctor. First of all, after wrapping Sumana up in 2 coats and making her do 3 sets of her PT exercises, she got plenty of sweat collected for her sweat test. Her test in June was labeled 'abnormal' so that's why she was tested today. However, today's test is definitely negative. So, cystic fibrosis is officially ruled out.

Also, she had more lung function testing today. Her lung function in June was around 33 percent. Today, she was at 42 percent. A huge improvement! They credit her use of the cough assist machine. Dr. Voter said Sumana couldn't be in better shape for surgery! Yea! Way to go, girl!

We just 'barely' made it to her eye appointment at Rochester General. We were trapped in the parking garage behind a woman with a top-carrier on her SUV. It was a frustrating 15 minutes, but she finally got the carrier off and was able to let us through. Sumana really liked Dr. Gearinger and his staff. She does have some optic nerve damage (possibly from birth), but doesn't need glasses.

Finally, we went to get Sumana fitted for her braces. They are BEAUTIFUL! However, because they still need fine-tuning, we'll go back next Thursday for the actual delivery. Wait til you see the improvments Miss Christine came up with! Every pair of braces seems to get better and better at addressing Sumana's needs. Way cool!!!! I am SOOOO thankful for Sumana's team of providers. She keeps getting more and more independent and healthy as time goes by. What a blessing!

A Thursday full of appointments

8:00 am: Sweat test (hopefully she'll sweat more this time!)

9:10 am: Pulmonary check up with Dr. Voter (at Strong)

11:00 am: Eye check up with new doc at Rochester General

2:30 pm: Brace fitting with Miss Christine (Westfall Rd)

Whew! It'll be a busy day. But, I can't complain . . . I planned it that way! Originally, she was ALSO going to have her pre-op appointment with Dr. Sanders! Please pray for safety for us. I have NOT been impressed with Rochester drivers over the last couple of weeks!

On a related note, please join us in praying for CLEAR direction about the new van. The more time passes, the more I question if it's in God's perfect plan. Just because we 'can' do it, doesn't necessarily mean we 'should' do it. Things came together last week really quickly, but we've had no word since last Friday. I know the dealership is waiting for confirmation that the government money is 'their's'. However, I'm going to do some more research tonight and numbers crunching to see if the higher car payment is really going to be worth it.

Camp Update from Sumana Faith

Camp was fun! We sang songs. One of my favorites was called the Beaver Song. It had motions to it and it was a counting rhyme. (Beaver one, beaver all, let's all do the beaver song. Beaver two , beaver three, let's all climb the beaver tree . . . etc.!) The cool thing was, the guy that came to camp wrote songs and gave all the kids cds of his latest album. Some other songs are the Old and New Testament books and a different version of Amazing Grace and besides the Beaver Song, a song about 'I'm gonna be a bug eater someday.'

I did crafts for one of my track times. I decorated a heavy canvas bag, made a jewelry box and I colored a cross. My other track time was puppets. We used our voices for the puppets and 'hid' behind a puppet stage. The first time I did the puppet show, I used the heavy hand puppet they gave me. Then, the next day, actually I made my OWN puppet out of a sock! It was a pink sock with dog ears and dog eyes.

I made lots of new friends. I had a counselor that helped me up the hills at camp, because they're really steep. Her name was Miss Amy. Sometimes I walked with my crutches, other times she pushed me in my wheelchair. I also met two other girls. Their names were Emily and Jessica. They were counselors, too. We had two cabins in Miss Amy's group. They were FULL of girls that talked all night. I kept saying, 'good night, good night!' But they still kept talking! The girls that were in my cabin were named Paige, Amarisa and Joy.

We did worship three times a day (singing, learning about the Bible, etc.) I got to see my sister and her friend Courtney alot, because they work at camp! Every time I went by the kitchen, Courtney would remind me to 'fix your wrist'! (to make my wrists straight when I hold my crutches).

We still don't have the van that my mom told you about. Maybe tomorrow. So, camp was fun. I want to go again next year, and the year after that, and the year after that . . . . .

Fun at the lake!

After a rainy, gloomy start today turned into a beautiful day. We spent a great day at the lake with some special friends from Crosswinds. Graham and Debbie Smith shared yummy food, boat rides, tubing and just a relaxing time kicking back at the beach. What a wonderful treat! (see Daddy and Sumana on the boat!)

It was such a nice twist after the 'goodbye' service for our neighbors/ friends. Just a pointer for anyone trying to play the piano in public under emotional stress: Outright sobbing, with flowing tears works better than just welling tears in the eyes. In my run-thru's I was actually sobbing, but at church I thought I was going to hold it together. However the tears started welling up and distorted the page so I couldn't see what I was reading. Not a good situation, but it was heartfelt, nonetheless!

This is a busy week for appointments and wouldn't you know, Sumana is sick. At the lake she had a runny nose and was sneezing alot. I figured she must be allergic to something at the lake. However, I guess she had been that way all day AND tonight she's got a temp of 100. I don't think she should have a temp with allergies, should she???? We'll have to see how she's doing tomorrow.

God's blog, God's kid, God's van!

What a challenging message we had at Crosswinds tonight. Eric Weaver talked about how one of the first words kids learn is 'Mine'! He began at the beginning: Genesis 1:1 . . . God created the heavens and the earth. He challenged us to speak of 'our' stuff as it truly is: God's. So, this isn't Sumana's blog, it's God's blog. It's not Sumana's van, it's God's van. Sumana is not MY child, she's God's child. We're going to try to catch each other over the next week and say, 'It's God's!'

Tomorrow one of my most special and long-time friends is moving (she's taking her whole family with her!) God has abundantly provided for all the details over the last few months to move the Mays family to ALASKA! UGH!! Does unlimited long distance work to Alaska???? If you'd like to see how God has worked check out their blogspot: Mays Missive. I'm soooo excited for them, but sooooo very sad to lose not only our neighbors of 17 years, but also good friends. For you teens from the 80s, I'm playing 'Friends' for offertory tomorrow. "Though it's hard to let you go, in the Father's hands we know, that a lifetime's not too long to live as friends." Sigh, if I can play without sobbing, it will be a miracle!